She [the newest sis] need him so you can wed me, she wished 25,100 USD of your. Earliest I went to select him and she kept myself by yourself with him inside the family. I said we are really not getting married, even although you keeps a king’s ransom, I really don’t need that. (F4)

This lady refused to get married the person and you will wound-up when you look at the a critical dispute along with her sis who actually called their previous abuser inside the Thailand and you may disclosed their hideout. Luckily, soon thereafter, she met some other Swedish son just who she appreciated and you may who was simply ready to get her inside the.

Becoming familiar with relational norms

Most of the informants was basically determined and you can happy to build a different life in the Sweden. But they had as well as pointed out that transferring to a different sort of people and being influenced by loved ones otherwise a guy almost unfamiliar in it expected freedom. The analysis recognized three fundamental pathways/classes, one where in actuality the women was basically reinforced after migration and you will top in the their unique ability, several other in which it eliminated arguments and you can talking its heads, for this reason evading argument by the silence, and you will a third in which these were docile, serving their spouse and you can placing their unique demands history.

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The participants who had been ‘assuming in their own capacity’ knowledgeable that ladies got higher position inside Sweden compared to Thailand. After relocating to Sweden they had realized as to the reasons:

In advance of We involved Sweden I got read one Swedish females were good and cold. Then when We emerged here I realized it is while they have a similar rights because the boys. (F8)

Nonetheless they believed wondering conclusion is actually legitimized compared to inside Thailand in which that did in general try told. The ladies was indeed raised inside the a society where people and younger individuals were not allowed so you’re able to question pointers and orders.

Everyone loves Swedish society and you can You will find read a lot from your people. I have discovered that it is okay to inquire about as to why, after you understand new things in Komvux [university having grownups]. I’ve also read to explain as to why things are as if they are. It is far from like in Thailand for which you have to regard and you may trust your mother and father rather than discovering why. You cannot like anybody or esteem them versus an explanation. (F2)

Swedish males love Thai people as our company is humble, other perceptions than simply Swedish females

Due to this the fresh perspective, they experienced healthier and more convinced than ever before they’d gone so you’re able to Sweden. They had come to talk its brains in order to choose for themselves that which was within favor. A number of the female actually created the energy to confront males that have handling conclusion. ‘We discuss and you may correspond with one another about this I don’t such as when he does you to definitely. He doesn’t have to-name all day and get me where I am, what You will find done and you may just what I’ll would. Today, tomorrow, later on’ (F6).

Although not, ‘dispute may also be evaded because of the silence’. In Thailand retired moms and dads more affordable needs would be the duty out of mature upwards pupils due to not enough a national societal security measures. Ergo, the informants had been likely to publish money home in order to assistance the mothers. Such as for instance normative divergence between the Thai in addition to Swedish solutions you’ll trigger dispute inside a love. It absolutely was tough, particularly in first through to the women was in fact getting their currency, to allow them to let their mothers as opposed to their husbands’ agree.

I assist my mommy if she need money. We publish so you’re able to the girl both. He does not discover. He believes she can take care of by herself. However, we don’t have money having senior citizens during the Thailand, the children are expected to help with its moms and dads. (F10)